Don’t read if you don’t want huge spoilers.
The plots turned out exactly as I predicted. There were only a couple of things I didn’t see coming.
With any luck, Tarly will get lost and forgotten in his huge library, but I doubt it. With even more luck, the pointless and boring Bran will follow Tommen’s example and fall from some high place (maybe someone will help him get to the top of a tall tree). I did not foresee Tommen’s exit, but it looked like something thrown in at the last minute and he certainly won’t be missed.
Jon Snow refuses to die, of course. I can’t believe he’s King in the North after his idiotic management of the battle against Ramsay Bolton. That battle was won by Sansa, who has turned out to be quite the Machiavel and may wind up winning what Tyrion calls “the great game.” I suspect she now has the ruthless wit to get rid of Baelish, which she needs to do as soon as possible. Sansa, I admit, has crept up on me. I didn’t expect her to be a player of any importance.
Quite predictably, Dany got her army and a bonus navy. She has a habit of losing kingdoms, so I’ll be surprised if she hangs on to her power.
Also predictably, Cersei gave the High Sparrow a satisfying send-off and roundly kicked the ass out of everybody else while she was at it. Her remaining enemies will have to get up early in the morning to beat her. Meanwhile, the Iron Throne finally has a suitable monarch (and her coronation armor is one of the best costume designs I’ve ever seen — pretty good picture here).
So now the board has been reset with new factions about to contend in another big war. I have little hope that Jon Snow will get stabbed and buried irrevocably or that one of the worthy people will get all the toys. The worthy people, in my view, include Dany, Sansa, and Cersei. Sansa will probably succumb to some moronic error of Jon Snow. Dany will try to do something unrealistic and get driven into exile again. Cersei has the best chance, but I’m sure she’ll be beaten by some deus-ex-machina idiocy involving Jon Snow, Bran, and the army of the dead (which totally won’t be stolen from Lord of the Rings).
The show will probably end with Tarly on the uberest throne of all.
Everyone was losing their minds over how amazing this was last night. I thought it was all on rails, including Arya’s comeback, etc. I was bored. Although at least things are happening.
I’m confused about Bran’s dead uncle. Somehow I missed that he was actually somehow animated dead but not a white walker. I guess I was reading Facebook when they explained that bit a few episodes back…
Although if they do a long lesbian sex scene with Theon’s dirty horse faced sister and Danaerys I’m so there.
This was season freaking finale and it only had like, half a boob.
They had tits all over the place in Seasons 1 & 2 but college SJW feminists made so much noise about it that they’ve toned it way, way down. Because depicting the sexualization of women in a medieval environment is somehow the same as sexualizing them… somehow.
So… no more slavery documentaries because that’s slavery.
Tommen was great, but only because Sarah and I constantly ridiculed his weak chin in every scene. The best.
Now it’s *really* “King’s Landing”. Eh? Eh?!
I have no idea where Bran’s uncle came from and I don’t really care. All Bran does is undergo trances. Since he wants to be a useless druid mystic, somebody should stuff him in a tree trunk and let him dream on his own time.
I found all the sex stuff tiresome and silly; every series wedges it in now to be edgy, so I use it as my dish-washing time.
If Tommen hadn’t “landed” (haw), I would have gotten a job as an extra and pushed him myself. I thought it was great that Cersei effectively dismissed him with her funeral arrangements. That’s what you get for crossing Cersei, even if you’re her kid. Actually, I wonder if she knew he would jump when he was left alone in that room.
They need to stop derping around with Arya. Either kill her off or go somewhere with her story. If they kill her off, they’ll have to do it with a crazed elephant or something because fatal stomach wounds only seem to inconvenience her.
I wonder how long Tyrion and Dany will stand on that ship deck before getting tired. Somebody forgot to bring chairs.
Dude the whole point of watching this politically focused storyline for 5 seconds was all the softcore medievally themed nerd porn they tossed in. Now that it’s gone it’s mostly Kit Harrington smoldering all over the place.
Also yeah being stabbed multiple times in the gut with a serious bleeder and then diving into a massively septic channel in a medieval city, but surviving, sure seems super plausible.
What annoyed me about the Arya storyline wasn’t so much the long, drawn out, and boring training vignette stretched over like 3 seasons. It was that the many faced god people were so fucking arbitrary and contrived. “We are nebulous and refuse to explain ourselves even to advanced initiates because the audience is supposed to be frustrated with us. Oooh! Look how frustrating and inscrutable we are!”
I never did figure out what that group was about, other than being a rip-off of Forgotten Realms death cults. I kind of dug the Waif since I kept wondering what her real attitude was toward Arya. I’m guessing not favorable. Anyhow, I’m now trying to figure out exactly what Arya was supposed to have learned from all that, other than how to become Chuck Norris’s worst nightmare. I guess she’ll go around assassinating people. I could probably predict her arc if I knew more about the politics and who she’s mad at.
She has her kill list. Walter Frey was the first guy on her kill list. She stopped reciting it 2 or 3 seasons ago.
In the end, she used her swordplay to defeat the resting bitchface girl (is that the waif? I don’t even know) so I guess what she learned was how to wear dead people’s faces as a mask. I guess maybe she keeps a bunch of them in her pants or something.
At one point I was afraid that they were going to replace boobs with scrotums.
Was that close-up in one of the earlier episodes really necessary?
Have you noticed how Sansa looked when Snow was proclaimed King of the North? It was like “Oh wait, I thought you were going to shout ‘Queen of the North’!”
I think Sansa will murder her bastard brother (or, rather, her cousin), or at least let Littlefinger poison him and will lead house Stark against Khaleesi.