Last night, I finally got to see Jurassic World. I also saw the first Game of Thrones episode for the 2016 season. Here is my catchy image for this post:
I’m using this image because I have a morbid fear of copyright takedown notices.
Anyway, about Jurassic World:
Total excrement.
- The effects haven’t improved very much since 1993. If anything, they’ve gotten worse. They should have called this movie “Jurassic Cut Scene on the Xbox One.”
- The characters are idiotic. I thought there might be an exception, but nope. Hated the kids; hated the “navy-paleontologist” character; hated the woman park boss; hated the rich Middle-Eastern Hammond replacement; hated the military nut. Not one redeeming person.
- The plot goes from stupid to ludicrous to face-palm to brain-damage. Every scene introduced a new improbability (and we’re talking way beyond the improbability of the fictional world here — I’m referring to intra-plot “luck” and other problems — the final scenes are just off the chart with deus-ex-machina stupidity).
This movie has not one single good thing going for it. I’m very glad I didn’t get the Blu-ray.
About Game of Thrones:
I’m pleased to see that various revenge plots are beginning to gyre up. I only hope they come to something. I especially want to see Cersei kick some ass. I also am interested in the weird Arya plot — will look forward to where they’re taking this “blind martial arts master” thing.
I dreaded that they might bring back Jon Snow, and it looks like that may be on the table. I got really sick of that character and his Tarly nerd sidekick, but I imagine a great herd of heartbroken girls wrote in protests, so Snow will probably be rezzed. Too bad.
More:
The sooner they kill off Ramsay Snow/Bolton, the better.
The sooner Sansa amounts to something, the better.
There’s some mild hint that Dany might have a new army in her horsey Mongol/Bedouin captors and that she might raze the stupid slave city to the ground, but I won’t hold my breath. More likely, she’ll suffer in a harem for several episodes before being rescued.
Could use more Brienne of Tarth.
The whole series is sadistic and you have to be kind of a masochist to watch it, but there’s nothing else that approaches the quality on TV, so I watch it.
Arya is hopefully gonna save the world along with Bran the gimpy wonder. One can hope.
Brienne finally got to do something useful except grumble and self recriminate so that was cool.
Totally agree that the effects in Jurassic Park were better than the newest installment. It’s weird.
The most sadistic thing about the show is its unnecessary concentration on the dreary Night’s Watch and basically the whole Northern conflict. Yeah, I understand that Stannis Baratheon is active in this area. I understand the politics. I understand the whole “winter is coming” thing and the “Free Folk” and all that.
I also understand that this whole business is designed to lend some kind of plot integrity to the real concentration on Kit Harrington, who as Jon Snow generates a lot of ratings. As the heartthrob of millions of over-aged Tiger Beat fans, he is the true reason the rest of us must suffer through the colorless idiocy of the Watch plot with its cringingly stupid Tarly side story.
I think Arya is so screwed up that she’ll never come to any good. She is one sick little puppy. I think she may conquer a big part of the world, but she won’t make it better.
Scene: Winterfell; Sansa’s chambers
Enter: Jon Snow, Samwise Tarly, Dire Wolf
SANSA: “Jon Snow! What are you doing here, esteemed and hunky half-brother?”
JON SNOW: “It is I, Jon Snow, naïve and fertile half-sister, come to rescue you from the clutches of these Bolton miscreants!”
SANSA: “I see you bring your faithful sidekick and his mysterious dire wolf. Well met, recently deflowered Tardly. Greetings, magical and ominous dire wolf.”
TARLY: “Isn’t Jon snow magnificent? He was recently brought back from the dead, you know. By the way, my name is Tarly.”
SANSA: “Isn’t that what I said?”
JON SNOW: “No, you said Tardly.”
SANSA: “Oh. I suspect it was the collision of our mutual well-intentioned naivety in a world hostile to our kind. A thousand pardons, Tardly.”
TARLY: “Tarly.”
SANSA: “Right. Sorry.”
DIRE WOLF: ” . . . jffhhffhhf. . . .”
JON SNOW: “We must fashion a makeshift rope from your bedclothes.”
SANSA: “Well, Brienne of Tarth is around here somewhere. She already did that and took the makeshift rope with her. She’s gone to clear a path for my escape.”
JON SNOW: “Good old Brienne. Well, you don’t mind if I strike a dashing pose of leadership while we wait, I hope?”
SANSA: “Oh no. Go right ahead. You’re very handsome and piratical in a virtuous way.”
TARLY: “Isn’t he?”
DIRE WOLF: ” . . . fenfnenffew . .”
. . . to be continued . . .
LOL Tardly
Also 4,000 year old witch vagina was totally unnecessary. Not surprising either, so it was kind of a lame, weak reveal AND old shriveled up vagina as an extra slap in the face.
Dear OP
Have seen neither. Cannot relate, other than dinosaurs should always be cool, except when they are not eating children.
Please watch baseball. Go Cubs.
GOT is becoming a soap opera.
I’m watching it mostly for Tyrion’s dialogues and tits, the first episode of the new series was highly disappointing in this regard.
Did somebody mention “plot integrity”? In GOT? Come on.
The appearance of Brienne of Tarth would be welcome in any other movie, but here? It was too obvious, I liked GOT because it did not use to have obvious plot twists. And the fight scene was ridiculously long and stupid. What happened to the hounds?
haven’t seen jurassic world, never intended to.
Was I right about Jon Snow or what? I am almost out of patience with this series, but I have to see what happens with Cersei and Arya.