Or I will be as of tomorrow.
Long long story which I don’t want to recount right now, but the gist is, I’m 38, IT is not a kind industry to men of my age. Especially not corporate IT, which is all I know how to do at the level that I can be paid for it by an employer. My nerves are shot, I have no hope of finding another job and even if I did I’d just prolong this slow burning nervous breakdown I’ve been having for two years. I mean there’s professional frustration, and stress, and anxiety, and then there’s cardiac arrests and back breaking seizures.
Sooooo we may be selling our house, since Chris’ pay can’t possibly cover our basic expenses, forget about cutting the budget. Maybe moving south to saner markets (housing and food, not employment, because I am burned out. I am beyond burned out. This probably sounds ridiculous but my nerves are not just shot, it’s like I’ve got shell shock.)
I’ve been kicking around an indie game for 2 years now and I’m using some of our small savings to commission level and promotional art to give it a ride on KickStarter and see how that goes. I mean, I may as well. What I’m spending won’t even make one mortgage payment, and even if it did that would be one month longer to pull off the bandaid and not really much help. Maybe it’ll take off. Self employment I can do if I can get somebody to pay me for my talents. Sadly, taking in wookiee costume commissions won’t cover.
Sorry for sucking at updating this page and such like, and not being into Diablo clones and such well enough to converse. I’m glad that you few have stuck around, I like seeing your posts.
I’m off to finish learning the Unity engine libraries (I’ve got a pretty good start on them already) and diagram some level layouts for my artist.
We’ve been wanting to move out of Connecticut for awhile now, so maybe this will turn out to be an opportunity and everything will fall together. Fingers crossed.
Well, sincere best wishes for a favorable outcome. You’re a very talented chap, so if anyone can make this work, you can. I wish you all happiness, improved health, and great success. Please provide updates so I won’t be wondering whatever happened to that muppet guy.
This sucks, a lot!
Being the same age as you, I’ve been working for the same IT outsourcing corporation for 7 years now, and I’m getting older while new young people keep coming in and soon I will feel out of place. Wait, no, I’ve always felt out of place there.
Anyway, I’m too lazy to leave, just staying there and doing my own stuff on the side. I don’t see myself entering the job market again if I quit/get fired.
But muppet, changes are good (although I prefer stability), this has to turn out good for you.
Sad news about selling the house, I remember how happy you were when you moved in – this is the one built by your father, do I remember this right?
Thanks guys.
Yes Brite this is the house that my father built, but I have to admit that we haven’t fixed it up much. I’m not a very good handyman and handymen for hire are very expensive. All of the vacations we’ve taken in the last ten years wouldn’t cover it. Connecticut is just too expensive. The South is cheaper, but frightening. Not sure what we’ll do yet.
Where I work, and all over CT, it’s not just young guys, it’s young Indian guys on H1-Bs. Their Visas are their ticket to getting over here and I don’t begrudge them at all even though their Visas are technically issued illegally. They’ll work twice my hours for half my pay and they don’t care if the management is incompetent because culturally, they respect a hierarchy (or that’s been my experience.) Those of us with experience who push back on bad practice or mismanagement now stand out very quickly, in a very bad way.
It got to the point where I was having seizures (again) from the anxiety. My situation was a little different in that they were only giving me about 3 hours’ worth of work to do in a week, but then calling me into the Director’s office to tell me that my visible downtime (people seeing me on Facebook, etc at my desk) was a huge problem and I needed to sign some forms promising not to do it anymore. I quit.
KickStarters overall (regardless of the type of project) tend to hit 44% of the time. I don’t know what the figure is for just games, but that statistic makes me feel hopeful because more than half of KickStarter campaigns are just bad, so if I just make mine not overtly suck…
We’ll see. 🙂
Sorry to hear it Muppet. Best of luck with the kickstarter and the upcoming changes. Also hope your depression lifts soon.
I’m not sure I’d call it depression. More like a constant state of quiet panic. I actually feel about a thousand times better not being in the office and not being beholden to it. But like I said, when the bills come in.
I forget who said something to the effect that being well adjusted to a sick and broken society is no indicator of mental wellness… 😉